Fun new game!
Needed for play
- Some sort of medium for playing music recordings
- Soundtrack for “Mad Max: Fury Road”
- Headphones or earbuds (optional, but recommended)
- Grocery Store with narrow aisles and/or routinely packed with shoppers
Put your headphones on, and cue up the soundtrack, preferably starting with “Chapter Doof”
As you cruise around the store shopping, treat all shopping carts as post-apocalyptic vehicles trying to stop your shopping cart (hereafter known as “the rig”).
“What a lovely day!” You make it up or down a single aisle without having to wait for some dumbass to get out of your way. 1 pt.
“WITNESS ME!” Any time a store employee asks you if you need help finding anything. 5 pts.
“Chrome” – any time someone hits your shopping cart. 1 pt.
“Shine” – any time you hit someone else’s shopping cart. 1 pt.
“FOOL!” – manage to get helped at the meat department in the order you arrived without some jackass cutting ahead of you. 2 pts, or 3 pts if you actually scream “FOOL!”
“Hope is a mistake” – find yourself totally blocked in an aisle, unable to go forward or back, for at least 30 seconds. 5 pts.
“Healthy Babies” – encounter running child…
… and avoid: 3 pts
… and hit with cart: 5 pts
… and hit with cart hard enough to make child cry: 7 pts
“Ah, mediocre!” – find your way blocked by someone on their cell phone discussing which type of soup they should get (other products 1 pt. less). 5 pts.
“Our Better Selves” – actually assist another shopper in some tangible way (help them find something, reach an upper shelf, etc. Simply not killing them doesn’t count). 10 pts.
“Feels like hope” – wait in line at the check out aisle for less than 5 minutes. 1 pt.
“Some Kind of Redemption” – store employee opens a new check out line just for you. 10 pts.
“The Vuvalini” – encounter an old woman in the produce department who starts a conversation about rhubarb or something, and converse with her politely on the topic or her choice for at least a minute: 15 points plus she doesn’t shoot you dead.
Post your score.